その時には雪が降る
by pppeppermint
Summary: I used to try not to think about the things I wanted but couldn't have.  Though some part of me had given up wanting anything.  Why? Why, did i fall in love? drabble, shou-ai. Flame is allowed.


**その時には雪が降る**

(When The Snow Falls)

(Shima's Part)

**Pairing: **Togawa x Shima from **Doushitemo Furetakunai**

**Warning: **Boy x Boy, OOC perhaps ehee *nyengir polos*

**Disclaimer: **Yoneda Kou-Sensee~

**Present By:**

Vinacchi

* * *

><p><em>White,<em>

_Cold,_

_Yet gentle._

_Slowly those white little drops fall from the dark night sky._

_._

From the room with a dim light as the only lightning,

There is a pair of hazel eyes, silently staring out the window.

Watching the small drops with random patterns fall in solitude.

"It's snowing,"he murmured almost whispering unconsciously to himself.

To think that now he's sitting in the bed with someone that he had been trying to give up on for this several months, still, it's unbelievable.

comparing with all the things that happened back then...

How many times he has been hurting this guy with his rejection answers,

how many times he has been running away from his own true feelings, blaming it all onto him and 'his' past.

Just because, he scared of loving someone...

He scared of getting hurt,

he scared of the lingering family image that always appears, even when he closes his eyes.

He scared of making the same mistake just like in the past...

* * *

><p><em>I used to try not to think about the things i wanted but couldn't have.<em>

_Though some part of me had given up wanting anything._

_Why?_

_I'm human, aren't I?_

_Though I knew that this was pointless,_

_Why, did I fall in love?_

_._

_._

Once I already managed my broken heart.

This guy suddenly came into my life and did everything as he pleased.

.

Togawa Yousuke.

Black-spiky haired,

smells like cigarettes,

bright,

always throwing dirty jokes,

loud person,

pushy,

self-centered,

yet, dependable,

affectionate,

gentle,

kind,

and warm at the same time...

.

He's the first person, who said 'love' and said that he doesn't care about how horrible my past and of me being gay.

Even though I was rejecting him countless times...

Even though I was giving him a cold shoulder towards his feelings...

Even though I was cowardly trying to run away...

But it always only takes one word from him, and i can't take a single step away...

Don't know since when i'm longing for his affections,

his gentleness,

his kindness,

and the warmth of his touch,

till all of those feelings pile up in me...

.

.

Even though with the past that made him,

and the lingering image i see, even when i shut my eyes..

Both weigh heavily on me...

But...

_Can I stay by your side?_

_Though I know that this was pointless,_

_It doesn't matter how short it is..._

_Even though I'm still so afraid of being apart..._

_Would it be all right... if I try my very best from now?_

_My efforts might prove useless,_

_but I'll work really hard..._

_And make sure I won't be a burden..._

_So,_

_May I fall in love with you?_

_._

_May I, really stay by your side?_

.

.

Can I?

* * *

><p>he close his eyes for a sec as he takes a deep breathe as if he's trying to regain back all the memories.<p>

then slowly he opens his eyes, and turns his gaze to the black-spiky haired guy who's now sleeping soundly next to him.

Suddenly he gets struck with the urge to cry.

So he pulls his knees and place his head on it, tries to hold it back in his silence.

while repeating the same words in his mind.

.

.

.

* * *

><p><em>And the snow, keeps falling without sign it'll stop by soon.<em>

_By now, the snow probably has put out the fire for someone._

_._

_._

_._

_._

Thank you,

_Thank you for loving me._

_I love you._

* * *

><p><em><strong>an**:_

hi, Vinacchi's here and this is my very first drabble/fic.

First of all sorry if this is not Yaki's fanfic instead it's mine though. that's why i didn't put Yaki's name in 'Present By' since my fanfic still far far under down the pitfall from Yaki's and lots of upgrades needed XD. buat fans Yaki di luar sana, Yaki lagi sibuk. plus Vinacchi lagi bosen ga da kerjaan, skripsi mandeg jadinya bikin ginian (ga nyambung, sambungin aja iyuk).

and yeah i know this drabble kinda pointless and my mind also in pointless state but it doesn't mean i didn't put any effort in it. akyu sudah memasukan seluruh jiwa dan segenap ragaku buat mengerti perasaan shima kek gimana, and yet i haven't satisfied by myself. :\ so silahkan di flame! *langsung dibakar massa beneran*

sorry for my broken english yeah. XD

**currently listening to:** Yiruma-Time Forgets

**ps**: i took lotsa of words from the manga soooo, it's not pure by me though...

thanks for reading, later!


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